As your child enters the new and unknown world of secondary school, it is a very important time to nurture the confidence and self-esteem of your son. Adolescence can also be a time of bewildering physical changes and strong emotions, opinions and increasing independence. Nurturing their confidence, self-esteem and assertiveness will go a long way to helping them to have the self-belief to tackle difficult new academic challenges, to developing new friendships and social skills, and assertiveness.
• Give praise willingly but also don’t encourage mediocrity. Always support your son to do their best and it is okay to calmly challenge them to reach the next level. It is of course always important not to highlight any of your child’s shortcomings or show frustration if they are struggling with a subject for example.
• Concentrate on what they are doing well and let them know that you are proud of them if they are applying themselves and making the effort. It is also important to ask them if they need help and encourage them to problem-solve issues themselves.
• It is also very important to devote quality time with your son in the evening. Allow your son to have full access to you if they need it. Don’t brush aside their worries or concerns or say ‘’we’ll talk about it later”. This will only result in them feeling that they can’t take their problems to you and that you don’t take them seriously.
• Make the effort to offer your support and ask your son about their day. It may be best to feed them first as growing boys get very hungry at the end of the day! Ask them also ‘’what was the best thing about school today?’’ and so as not to make him feel the spotlight is on him, share the best thing about your day too.
• Always focus on the positives but encourage discussions about what things can be improved. Emphasise that it is okay to make mistakes and whenever possible try not to be critical if your son has had a bad day or not performed to expectation in an assessment task or game. The important thing is to emphasise that failing in part or whole is a natural part of life and that excellence can only occur when one has learnt from their mistakes.
• Encourage your son’s independence and open thinking. Encourage stimulating discussion where their opinions are listened to and integrated into adult conversation. This will serve to help your child to develop good social skills and also give them a strong sense of self. Giving them more responsibility to get up in the morning on their own, setting out their uniform at night and ensuring their bag is packed are all ways to start to increase their independence, particularly those in the first few years of secondary school.
• As a parent, you need to be in tune with your son’s emotional state. Sometimes changes are noticeable whilst others are less obvious. If you think there is a problem, ask your child. Listen to them, believe them, and explain that you are not angry with them. Take their concerns seriously, stay calm and contact the School to seek their assistance.
We wish your son the very best as commences Year 7, we are privileged you have chosen Toowoomba Grammar School to share this journey and to develop his good character.
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