As children grow and develop, they participate in a range of new experiences, with the “journey” from birth to adulthood being shaped by several awaited and expected transitions. These transitions occur across a range of context and help us to evolve in new environments. It is important to note that transition is associated with a change, which is something that happens for all of us. The concept of transition involves how we process, manage, and respond to the change.
As adults, we work hard to prepare young children for change. We give time warnings and talk through expected events in finite detail. We walk alongside our children as they face change and help to manage any tricky feelings. As our children grow and move into adolescence, we tend to take a step back and hope that we have given them the skills to transition on their own. We are aware that transitions can be challenging for young people, but we lose the ability to wrap around them as they pull away and seek independence.
Regardless of their life stage, transition presents opportunities and challenges for our children as routines, interactions and settings require different social, emotional, or physical responses. Our children are required to learn and adapt to different ways of operating. One of the biggest is the transition from Year 12 to “life after school”. Whilst this is usually a positive and exciting time for most students, it is a transition where parents need to step back into the guiding and support role, to assist them to navigate the vast changes ahead, whilst also buffering the fear of the “unknown” that they inevitably face.
Here are helpful tips for both students and parents, about how to best navigate what lies ahead:
1. Expect to feel lost and uncertain – Transition thrusts us into an unknown emotional state. What can be useful is considering the elements of control that we have in moving forward to a new future. Maintaining a health daily routine, planning for social connection, and practicing patience can assist in managing uncertainty. We are out of our comfort zone at these times, so it is ok not to know all the answers.
2. Practice gratitude – It is important to acknowledge and appreciate what has been, whilst looking forward to the future. Keep in mind that with every change, an opportunity is provided for a fresh start. Some transitions may bring about a sense of grief, but remember, grief brings an opportunity for growth, gratitude, and learning.
3. Plan for social connection and seek support – Many students find the time between finishing school and starting their “next chapter” incredibly isolating and lonely, as they no longer have regular access to social connection. It is therefore important to actively seek out connection. Call a friend or plan for a get together. We are social creatures and embracing others in our lives helps facilitate smooth transitions.
4. Manage stress – Get to know your helpful coping strategies and put them into practice during times of transition. This could include hanging out with friends, engaging in a hobby, exercising, or exploring relaxation strategies. It is equally important to know your triggers for stress, so that you can reinforce strategies that foster rather than hinder adaptation. Managing stress well is a life skill and one that takes practice. The more practice you get, the more readily equipped you are in problem-solving and facing new challenges that inevitably come along in the future.
And finally…
5. Don’t forget Mum and Dad – As exciting as finishing school can be for students, if can be met with mixed emotions from mums and dads. It is a parents’ job to raise their children to be independent and to leave home, but it is important that we don’t forget where we came from and who was there to support us, no matter what. Once you’re off and experiencing the new, exciting world of “life after school”, try not to forget the importance of family. Keep your parents involved in your life. A meaningful conversation every now and then will work wonders.
Best of luck on the journey that lies ahead.
Jennifer Johnson-Saul
School Counsellor
Latest Blog
Transition to Senior School at TGS
Starting at a new school can be a time of mixed feelings – very exciting, but also quite daunting and challenging. Irrespective of whether your son is joining us from the TGS Junior School, or if they are just starting at Toowoomba Grammar School, this is the start of a long and special journey. Your son will have a lot to digest with a new, possibly larger campus to navigate, different teachers and lessons, making new friends, where to go and what to do at morning tea and lunch. There can be a…
The Transition to Year 7 - from a Parent and Staff Member's Perspective
Regardless of your history with the school, you are all equally welcome here and should feel comfortable in knowing that we value every family and their son’s contribution to our School. Toowoomba Grammar School was built by the community, for the community and it is a School that I am immensely proud of. In 2025 we will celebrate our sesquicentenary or Grammar 150 and your sons will play a vital role in those celebrations. Our pedagogy is modelled on explicit instruction which has its roots in…
Boarding Families - Surviving Homesickness
Homesickness can be brutal for both the child and their parents. As a parent it can feel like your heart is being ripped out in some cases daily. It is extremely hard hearing how sad your boy may sound on the phone, and then you are left reeling for 24hrs until the next call, you are often left worried that they are feeling like this ALL DAY. Rest assured only vary rare cases are that bad, they usually improve as they settle in, and it is temporary. The reality is that most boys tend to save…
Helpful Tips for New Boarding Parents
Name absolutely everything! Socks, undies, phone chargers, water bottles, caps. EVERYTHING!! Make sure you name items with Boy’s name & House number; most parents will put their senior house number if printing the tags so they don’t have to rename items when they move the following year (Corfe House doesn’t have a house number). Some boys find a double bed doona is a better option than single doona as it hangs down the sides of the bed a little more to keep them warmer in winter. An…
Parenting Styles: Parties and the Holidays
As the holiday season approaches, parents and caregivers find themselves immersed in the joy and bustle of festivities. Amidst the celebrations, it’s essential to pause and reflect on the pivotal role our parenting styles play in shaping our children’s attitudes and behaviours, especially concerning alcohol and other drug use. As a father of four young people with my fifth child coming into our family on 8 December 2023, I’m particularly mindful of my parenting style and my role as School…
Building the Boarding Experience - at Home
Family connections is a vital aspect of our Toowoomba Grammar School boarding program that we hold close to our heart. Our Heads of House regularly make the effort to visit our boarding families so they have a better understanding of our boarders' lives, the challenges and experiences, and staff always enjoy the warmth and hospitality provided by families. Head of Corfe House, Henry White and his wife, Samantha recently spent a weekend with the Acton family on Dalgonally Station near Julia…
A New Season for Coach Kabe
Highly respected Head of Basketball and 1st V Coach, Kabe Ciccolini is embarking on a new and inspiring chapter. This season, he takes up the role of Assistant Head of Corfe House, guiding our youngest boarders with a warmth and passion that is uniquely his own. Kabe’s decision to transition into the role of Assistant Head of Corfe House reflects his unwavering commitment to mentorship and leadership. For him, this move signifies a positive step in his career. “It’s an opportunity to further…
Embrace Every Moment
In the words of one of the greatest leaders of all time, Albus Dumbledore, “it does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” The wise wizard spoke these words to Harry as he stood before the Mirror of Erised, a magical artifact that reveals one’s deepest desires. These words tell the story of the balance between our dreams and the richness of the present moment. We live in a world that often urges us to focus on our aspirations; , sometimes we get so lost in our dreams that we do not…
What is the TGS Athletic Development Academy?
As a TGS Old Boy (2003-14), sport has always been an integral part of my upbringing. As a young boy I discovered the joys of cricket, track and field and touch footy. This love of being active led me to studying Exercise Science at University and I was fortunate enough to work with a range of national and international level athletes, culminating in an internship at the Brisbane Broncos. This experience launched my career in the strength and conditioning space, allowing me to work with…
