As children grow and develop, they participate in a range of new experiences, with the “journey” from birth to adulthood being shaped by several awaited and expected transitions. These transitions occur across a range of context and help us to evolve in new environments. It is important to note that transition is associated with a change, which is something that happens for all of us. The concept of transition involves how we process, manage, and respond to the change.
As adults, we work hard to prepare young children for change. We give time warnings and talk through expected events in finite detail. We walk alongside our children as they face change and help to manage any tricky feelings. As our children grow and move into adolescence, we tend to take a step back and hope that we have given them the skills to transition on their own. We are aware that transitions can be challenging for young people, but we lose the ability to wrap around them as they pull away and seek independence.
Regardless of their life stage, transition presents opportunities and challenges for our children as routines, interactions and settings require different social, emotional, or physical responses. Our children are required to learn and adapt to different ways of operating. One of the biggest is the transition from Year 12 to “life after school”. Whilst this is usually a positive and exciting time for most students, it is a transition where parents need to step back into the guiding and support role, to assist them to navigate the vast changes ahead, whilst also buffering the fear of the “unknown” that they inevitably face.
Here are helpful tips for both students and parents, about how to best navigate what lies ahead:
1. Expect to feel lost and uncertain – Transition thrusts us into an unknown emotional state. What can be useful is considering the elements of control that we have in moving forward to a new future. Maintaining a health daily routine, planning for social connection, and practicing patience can assist in managing uncertainty. We are out of our comfort zone at these times, so it is ok not to know all the answers.
2. Practice gratitude – It is important to acknowledge and appreciate what has been, whilst looking forward to the future. Keep in mind that with every change, an opportunity is provided for a fresh start. Some transitions may bring about a sense of grief, but remember, grief brings an opportunity for growth, gratitude, and learning.
3. Plan for social connection and seek support – Many students find the time between finishing school and starting their “next chapter” incredibly isolating and lonely, as they no longer have regular access to social connection. It is therefore important to actively seek out connection. Call a friend or plan for a get together. We are social creatures and embracing others in our lives helps facilitate smooth transitions.
4. Manage stress – Get to know your helpful coping strategies and put them into practice during times of transition. This could include hanging out with friends, engaging in a hobby, exercising, or exploring relaxation strategies. It is equally important to know your triggers for stress, so that you can reinforce strategies that foster rather than hinder adaptation. Managing stress well is a life skill and one that takes practice. The more practice you get, the more readily equipped you are in problem-solving and facing new challenges that inevitably come along in the future.
And finally…
5. Don’t forget Mum and Dad – As exciting as finishing school can be for students, if can be met with mixed emotions from mums and dads. It is a parents’ job to raise their children to be independent and to leave home, but it is important that we don’t forget where we came from and who was there to support us, no matter what. Once you’re off and experiencing the new, exciting world of “life after school”, try not to forget the importance of family. Keep your parents involved in your life. A meaningful conversation every now and then will work wonders.
Best of luck on the journey that lies ahead.
Jennifer Johnson-Saul
School Counsellor
Latest Blog
The Boarding and Day Family Connections
My husband Ben and I are four years into our boarding journey at Toowoomba Grammar School, we have two boys in Mackintosh House, Josh in Year 10 and Archie in Year 9, and a daughter Ella who is home with us for one more year before we become empty nesters. We are in the fortunate position that we live reasonably close, so we have the privilege of taking our boys home often and can attend most School events. For many of our boarding families, this is not the case, they live great distances away…
Streamline Success
Education is a transformative journey where the path we choose exerts a profound influence on our ultimate success. A streamed class is like an express locomotive: swift, efficient, and filled with eager passengers zooming towards their educational destination. Meanwhile, an unstreamed class resembles a motley group of hikers who accidentally wandered onto the wrong trail, stumbling and bickering as they struggle to find their way. Imagine the express locomotive of streamed classes, full of…
Reducing Stress: the Key to a Peaceful Life
Have you ever felt the soul-crushing burden of stress dragging your life through the mud? Ever had your precious time dwindled away at the hands of stress, while you are left powerless and alone? Well all this pain and anguish can be resolved in an instant; and all it takes is a change in the way we think. This alteration in brain chemistry is defined as mindfulness, the ability to obtain momentary awareness and recognition of our thoughts and feelings. Mindfulness is the key to defeating…
Gaining Ground with a Growth Mindset
I have seen the posters. I have sat the assemblies. I have watched the ads telling us about growth mindsets and how to develop one, and I'm sure you have too. But what we don't do is apply it to ourselves to help benefit our lives, however, there is no reason to blame yourself. The growth mindset is a deep topic that has many layers to it and is extremely important to have today. While we might blame other things on our weaknesses, it all links back to one thing – our mindset. To benefit our…
Sleeping Away the Mental Health Crisis
Two in five. That’s how many young Australians between the ages of 16 and 24 have experienced a mental disorder in the last 12 months (ABS, 2022). Let that sink in. Think of your closest five mates. Odds are that two of them are suffering right now from a crippling mental illness. According to recent studies conducted by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, Australia is witnessing an unprecedented rise in mental health issues among its youth, leaving them vulnerable and struggling (Headspace,…
Time for a Wake Up Call
Did you know that one in five 12–17-year-olds average over 8 hours of screen time a day? That means that in a 14-hour day, 57% of their waking hours involve looking at a screen! This madness is contributing to a very significant problem all teenagers face - sleep deprivation. It is killing us. We are becoming walking zombies rather than happy, growing lads. However, we can end this treacherous technological tyranny by putting down our screens before bed. Stop and think for a second. How much…
Breaking the Stigma
Strangling you in chains. Smothering you in despair. Anxiety and depression can be mighty beasts to break free from. Unfortunately, the state of traditional masculinity is reinforcing these chains. Mental health is a major threat to the well-being of men. This cage constructs barriers and borders which limit their ability to thrive in the modern world. Traditional Masculinity refers to a set of societal expectations foregrounded through the centuries by gender roles, stereotypes and beliefs.…
The Power of Gratitude
“What do you say mate?” your mum nudges you as the waitress hands you your dinosaur nuggets. “Thank you.” You have always been told to use good manners, and to say thank you, but what does thank you actually mean? Is it just two meaningless words uttered with monotonous regularity, or is it a tool that can alleviate mental health issues generating happiness and a sense of wellbeing? Gratitude is the sunlight that lights up those dark days. The ability to be grateful is at the core of personal…
The Silent Epidemic: Unveiling the Consequences of Sleep Deprivation
“Sleep that soothes away all our worries. Sleep that puts each day to rest. Sleep that relieves the weary laborer and heals hurt minds.” William Shakespeare (Macbeth, 1606) Heart Disease, Cancer, and Alzheimer's. Three life-threatening diseases. Three diseases all linked to lack of sleep. According to Dr. Okorie from the children’s health division of Stanford University, “7 out of 10 high school students are falling short of… (sleep) on school nights.” The Bulk of American teens are not getting…