“We acknowledge that you know your son, but we know boys and we know boarding. Let’s ensure that their care and wellbeing is a team effort.”— Mr Henry White, Head of House - Corfe
The transition into boarding can be a turbulent experience and it’s no secret that boarders who settle in quickly have often had ample opportunity to prepare.
In fact, I’ve coined the phrase “the clearer the runway, the smoother the landing” as a neat summary of this observation. A great deal of boarding experience can be initiated at home in the weeks and months leading up to your son’s departure, helping him prepare psychologically and logistically for his upcoming journey.
At TGS, we acknowledge that the boarding journey for boys and families starts long before they enter the house in late January. In the mind of a new boarder and their family, the transition into boarding school is a thought process that begins before enrolment and months, even years before they arrive. More often than not, it’s a process fraught with mixed anxieties and anticipation.
Our Corfe House staff have some key pieces of advice for new boarders and their families.
We want to get to know your son
Boarding is a fundamentally pastoral vocation; therefore, early and frequent communication between families and the boarding house is crucial for establishing firm bonds and understanding. Personally, I take any opportunity that allows me to connect with a prospective or incoming boarder. This can be through a phone call, email, or even a brief visit to the boarding house. However, what I most appreciate is a letter from your son introducing himself. Knowing his interests and hobbies enables me to cater to him more effectively within our program. Perhaps more importantly, understanding your son’s worries allows me to work with you and him to assuage any anxieties early on rather than letting them fester over the Christmas holidays.
Practice Makes Perfect
Corfe House runs on bells and whistles — routine is at the core of what we do. Once routines fall out of sync, we notice our boys tend to wobble. We follow the mantra “keep them busy and keep them informed” as we’ve noticed that moments of idle confusion, particularly upon arrival, often result in unfortunate periods of homesickness. Whilst routines are beneficial, they’re hard to master for a boy who’s never had one. As such, I recommend helping your son develop a routine and stick to it. A routine will ensure he prepares himself for the transition to boarding. It should include morning and evening bathing, bed-making, exercise, downtime and reading or study.
Moreover, in preparing psychologically for the boarding transition, any exposure to extended periods away from home in the lead-up is beneficial to boys prone to homesickness. If possible, organising a sleepover for your son or a few nights away from home with a friend or relative helps boys develop resilience.
Stay Busy
We acknowledge that any transition into a new home, routine and sudden immersion into a new community isn’t always a comfortable experience. This period of transition is an emotional one for all new boarders, each of whom approach this period in their own way, many of whom can become withdrawn and homesick. We encourage boys to stay busy – stay active – stay open-minded to new challenges and activities given to them – find joy in new tasks and with new people. By staying active, boys distract themselves from homesickness and through the process of time, we usually see these emotions subside as they familiarise themselves with their new environment and community.
Chunk It
We acknowledge that the emotional impact of transitioning into boarding is often exacerbated when boarders find themselves navigating new subjects, training schedules, friendship groups and the inevitable onset of fatigue. We encourage boys to pause, reflect and consider each task at hand – ask themselves: can it be broken or “chunked” into smaller, more manageable pieces? Often, we see that once boys have taken a moment to consider these things and focus on the single task at hand, the bigger picture doesn’t seem all that overwhelming anymore.
Transparency
We acknowledge that during a boy’s transition to boarding school, homesickness and anxieties are voiced over the phone to mums and dads, while a shield of stoicism and reticence is often held in the boarding house. This is a natural, yet unfortunate, part of the teething process that many of our boarders face in their transition. Firstly, please encourage your boys to speak with a trusted member of staff who can support them through the process. If we know about it – we can act on it. Secondly, don’t feel that you are betraying your son’s trust by keeping us informed of issues or concerns they relay to you. We are here to help. Open communication between the boarding house and families at home is fundamental to effective pastoral care and your son’s wellbeing.
Boarding is a Journey - Trust the Process
We acknowledge that in the life of a boarder, not every day is going to be a good one. Not every experience is going to be enjoyable. We encourage you to trust that our staff and systems are in place to support and facilitate growth and wellbeing. Boarding is a journey that is going to be rockier for some boys than others. It’s our role to guide them on course, but we need your trust and support in doing so.
For other useful articles about transitioning to boarding and the Senior School, visit the TGS Blog.
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