At Toowoomba Grammar School, our staff know adolescence is a complex time in the lives of our boys.
As we approach the end of Term 3, we find it is typically a time when boys start to get tired and emotional and are most likely to make poor decisions that can lead to relationship challenges between peers. Comments and humour shared between mates that may have been received without concern in the first week of the term may change as boys start to tire and their tolerance levels decrease. This may lead to boys reacting with heightened and overly emotional responses. This is normal as boys are also navigating their position in social groups within different settings.
Our experienced Toowoomba Grammar School staff, who consciously choose to work in a boys’ school, address these challenges with the boys by suggesting strategies that will assist the students to navigate their way through these challenging situations. Our dedicated Head of Pastoral Care, working in close partnership with the Head of Senior School and other pastoral staff, focuses on building coping mechanisms and strategies to improve student welfare.
One of the primary goals of the Head of Pastoral Care is connecting with students through authentic and genuine relationships. The role requires a considered and measured response to incidents as they occur. Key staff are included in the building of plans to assist and guide students to make better decisions and understand how these decisions impact others around them.
Strategies to manage negative peer interactions
At TGS, we adopt different approaches to equip the boys with the skills to function socially with each other. Through the School’s explicit Wellbeing and Character Development program, we teach boys ways to address bullying as both a victim and a bystander. If a boy is comfortable addressing negative interactions directly with his peers, we initially suggest they refer to these strategies:
- Humour — a means to de-escalate the situation by learning the art of laughing at oneself will often lead to these challenging moments decreasing.
- Compliments — responding to a taunt with a compliment can be very disarming to the student who has made a negative or inappropriate comment.
- The “so” statement — asking a student “So what?” can be an easy way to shut down the student that is generating the negativity in a peer relationship. For example, when a boy says to another boy “You didn’t play very well on Saturday”, the student can respond with “So what?”. Often the implication of being asked a secondary question can catch the offender off guard and diffuse the situation.
Toowoomba Grammar School employs a very clear behaviour management policy across four tiers of comprehensive responses linking consequences to actions that may have impacted another student’s wellbeing.
If a student at Toowoomba Grammar School is experiencing difficulty and is challenged by attempting to manage this situation on their own, then the students are encouraged to complete an online bullying notification that is forwarded to Mentors, Heads of House and senior staff. These notifications are actioned by staff in a meeting with the student where they cooperatively develop an action plan to address the matter.
If you are worried about your son, bullying and his interactions with his peers, our SchoolTV channel offers great advice.
We also recommend the book Bullied: What every parent, teacher and kid needs to know about bullying and the cycle of fear, as it contains very practical advice.
Latest Blog
“Watch your character, it becomes your destiny.”
Whether it was American essayist Ralph Waldo Emerson, Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu, or even UK Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher’s father who coined the phrase “watch your character, it becomes your destiny,” it was Dr Linda Evans who gave it real relevance to a theatre full of students, staff and families. After a decade and a half in charge of Toowoomba’s respected Fairholme College as Principal and some 22 years in total on staff, Dr Evans will leave the institution she has led and loved by…
Preparation for Boarding: Practical Tips and Tricks
In fact, I’ve coined the phrase “the clearer the runway, the smoother the landing” as a neat summary of this observation. A great deal of boarding experience can be initiated at home in the weeks and months leading up to your son’s departure, helping him prepare psychologically and logistically for his upcoming journey. At TGS, we acknowledge that the boarding journey for boys and families starts long before they enter the house in late January. In the mind of a new boarder and their family,…
Exploring the Role of Neuroscience in Supporting Teenage Boys
Recent insights from neuroscience reveal that the teenage brain undergoes significant changes, particularly in the frontal lobe, which is essential for decision-making, impulse control and emotional regulation. By leveraging this knowledge, we can create supportive environments that guide our boys through the complexities of their teenage years.The Prefrontal Cortex The prefrontal cortex, located in the frontal lobe, is one of the last areas of the brain to mature, significantly impacting…
Wellbeing and Character Development Program — Benefiting Students and Staff Alike
In 2024, the School re-established the Head of Pastoral Care position. The role will be pivotal in supporting all staff to foster a supportive and nurturing environment at Toowoomba Grammar School. Integral to the role’s success is the parallel expansion of the Wellbeing and Character Development (WCD) program to yield multifaceted benefits for both staff and students. For staff, the Head of Pastoral Care provides guidance, support and resources, aiding in their efforts to address students’…
Nurturing the Seeds of Leadership
Early exposure to leadership roles helps children develop character traits such as responsibility, empathy, resilience and integrity. As a School, we provide the opportunity for the cultivation of leadership skills in our young boys. From the formative years in Prep through to the adolescent years of Year 6, the importance of fostering leadership qualities cannot be overstated. In our modern world, where adaptability, resilience and initiative are regarded as quality attributes, nurturing the…
Pedal Power: The TGS Mountain Bike Club
What started with 12 boys now has 90, with many of the riders racing in the Schools Academy Gravity Enduro Series and other events. We also have a tour of 20 boys going to Thredbo in December this year, where they will tackle some of the most exciting trails in Australia. We thank the wonderful group of parents who support the club. They can often be found driving vehicles up and down the range on a Sunday morning to support the boys. We would not have been as successful as we are without…
Beyond the Blue and Gold
Our focus is to work with each individual student to assist in creating awareness of the world of work, helping students to articulate their interests and identifying what is important to them and their values. We assist the boys in developing the skills to explore the different careers out there. We connect them with employers and industry professionals and help them navigate towards the job or career they are interested in. We work hard to individualise each student’s unique School journey to…
Character and Wellbeing – The Grammar Way
Legacy of Leadership: The Impact of John Mackintosh at Toowoomba Grammar School Toowoomba Grammar School’s first Headmaster, John Mackintosh (1876–1879) led the School with the demeanour of a typical Victorian father figure. His leadership was steadfast and nurturing, with decisions that were definitive and meticulously aimed at creating an environment that was conducive to a boy’s character and learning outcomes. Mackintosh introduced recreational activities such as chess and draughts…
2024 IBSC Conference
It is part of our Strategic Plan's People Pillar which is "build a high-performing culture that supports the wellbeing and development of staff, who exemplify the TGS values and share our commitment to the growth of our boys". In fact, that focus was acknowledged in our receiving The Educator’s 2024 5-Star Employer of Choice award. The Award acknowledges excellence in providing professional development opportunities and nurturing a culture of inclusion and respect. So it was with great pleasure…
