At Toowoomba Grammar School, our staff know adolescence is a complex time in the lives of our boys.
As we approach the end of Term 3, we find it is typically a time when boys start to get tired and emotional and are most likely to make poor decisions that can lead to relationship challenges between peers. Comments and humour shared between mates that may have been received without concern in the first week of the term may change as boys start to tire and their tolerance levels decrease. This may lead to boys reacting with heightened and overly emotional responses. This is normal as boys are also navigating their position in social groups within different settings.
Our experienced Toowoomba Grammar School staff, who consciously choose to work in a boys’ school, address these challenges with the boys by suggesting strategies that will assist the students to navigate their way through these challenging situations. Our dedicated Head of Pastoral Care, working in close partnership with the Head of Senior School and other pastoral staff, focuses on building coping mechanisms and strategies to improve student welfare.
One of the primary goals of the Head of Pastoral Care is connecting with students through authentic and genuine relationships. The role requires a considered and measured response to incidents as they occur. Key staff are included in the building of plans to assist and guide students to make better decisions and understand how these decisions impact others around them.
Strategies to manage negative peer interactions
At TGS, we adopt different approaches to equip the boys with the skills to function socially with each other. Through the School’s explicit Wellbeing and Character Development program, we teach boys ways to address bullying as both a victim and a bystander. If a boy is comfortable addressing negative interactions directly with his peers, we initially suggest they refer to these strategies:
- Humour — a means to de-escalate the situation by learning the art of laughing at oneself will often lead to these challenging moments decreasing.
- Compliments — responding to a taunt with a compliment can be very disarming to the student who has made a negative or inappropriate comment.
- The “so” statement — asking a student “So what?” can be an easy way to shut down the student that is generating the negativity in a peer relationship. For example, when a boy says to another boy “You didn’t play very well on Saturday”, the student can respond with “So what?”. Often the implication of being asked a secondary question can catch the offender off guard and diffuse the situation.
Toowoomba Grammar School employs a very clear behaviour management policy across four tiers of comprehensive responses linking consequences to actions that may have impacted another student’s wellbeing.
If a student at Toowoomba Grammar School is experiencing difficulty and is challenged by attempting to manage this situation on their own, then the students are encouraged to complete an online bullying notification that is forwarded to Mentors, Heads of House and senior staff. These notifications are actioned by staff in a meeting with the student where they cooperatively develop an action plan to address the matter.
If you are worried about your son, bullying and his interactions with his peers, our SchoolTV channel offers great advice.
We also recommend the book Bullied: What every parent, teacher and kid needs to know about bullying and the cycle of fear, as it contains very practical advice.
Latest Blog
The Boarding Journey
Every parent will have a unique journey with their son whilst he is boarding at Toowoomba Grammar School. I’m Kym Wright, mother of Clancy, who is in Year 12 and this is my journey…. From my very first experience with Toowoomba Grammar School Boarding ten years ago, I had a good feeling straight away that TGS would be the perfect fit for my son. I was picking up my nephew for lunch. He had started boarding at TGS just six weeks prior. It was pouring rain and there were boys enthusiastically…
Building Self-Confidence and Resilience in Year 7s
As your child enters the new and unknown world of secondary school, it is a very important time to nurture the confidence and self-esteem of your son. Adolescence can also be a time of bewildering physical changes and strong emotions, opinions and increasing independence. Nurturing their confidence, self-esteem and assertiveness will go a long way to helping them to have the self-belief to tackle difficult new academic challenges, to developing new friendships and social skills, and…
Introducing our new Head of Year 7 - Jodi Blades
My family moved from Brisbane to Toowoomba when I was ten years of age. I’ve lived here for most of my life, other than to study and begin my teaching career in Brisbane. I lived and worked in London for 18 months before returning to Toowoomba in 2001. With over 20 years’ experience teaching and leading pastoral care programs within independent day and boarding schools, I am dedicated to developing students holistically; the academic, social, emotional, cultural, and physical development of…
Holiday Reading Recommendations
Here is a snapshot; three titles from each year level, and from Head of Library and Information Services, Mr Dan Crook to inspire your choices for holiday reading: Year 7: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - The last Ronin. Hatchet - Gary Paulsen Billy Slaters autobiography - Billy Slater Year 8: The dead of the night (Tomorrow series) - James Marsden Rangers Apprentice The ruins of Gorlan - John Flannagan The Hunger games. -Suzanne Collins Year 9: Back to the Pillaga - Tony Parsons Deadpool Samurai…
Life After School
As children grow and develop, they participate in a range of new experiences, with the “journey” from birth to adulthood being shaped by several awaited and expected transitions. These transitions occur across a range of context and help us to evolve in new environments. It is important to note that transition is associated with a change, which is something that happens for all of us. The concept of transition involves how we process, manage, and respond to the change. As adults, we work hard…
TGS Artist in Residence - Ben Tupas
I’ve been following Toowoomba Grammar School’s exciting Artist-in-residence program for several years. After seeing fellow Toowoomba artists such as Catherine Parker, Alice Weinthal and Vincent Parisi taking up the opportunity and engaging in the program, I decided to apply in 2022 to continue the momentum of my own artist practice. With the four-week residency wrapping up at the end of October, and some time to reflect on the experience I can write that the experience was a valuable…
The Transition to Secondary School
Research shows us that the move from a primary school to a secondary school is one of the most significant life changes that our young men will face. You can help make the transition to Senior School smoother by ensuring that the boys attend the orientation days, practice packing their bags and getting their sports, music, and activities equipment ready. When asked about tips for the boys coming into Year 7, current Year 7 dayboy, Ollie Wells suggests boys should “Be organised. Pack the night…
Nothing is Impossible
Toowoomba Grammar School's Year 7C English has been studying 'Cool Runnings' to learn about how stories or movies based on real life aren't always completely true. Extremely fascinated by the topic, young student Harry Ryan took it upon himself to message (via LinkedIn) the bobsled driver, Mr Dudley Stokes - he responded! After a little communication between the two, Harry asked Mr Stokes if he could FaceTime him during an English lesson, to 'meet' his teacher Mr Paul Irwin and classmates…
Simple Acts of Kindness
Giving back to the community is an important value that Toowoomba Grammar School endeavours to instill in our boys. Year 12 student, Tumoana Strugnell is a shining example of how it costs nothing but our time to help others, especially as we move into the Festive season and the challenges of life seem heightened. I first became involved in community service when I was in Year 6, through my local primary school’s involvement on ANZAC Day and my parent’s involvement in local community events. I’m…
