At Toowoomba Grammar School, our staff know adolescence is a complex time in the lives of our boys.
As we approach the end of Term 3, we find it is typically a time when boys start to get tired and emotional and are most likely to make poor decisions that can lead to relationship challenges between peers. Comments and humour shared between mates that may have been received without concern in the first week of the term may change as boys start to tire and their tolerance levels decrease. This may lead to boys reacting with heightened and overly emotional responses. This is normal as boys are also navigating their position in social groups within different settings.
Our experienced Toowoomba Grammar School staff, who consciously choose to work in a boys’ school, address these challenges with the boys by suggesting strategies that will assist the students to navigate their way through these challenging situations. Our dedicated Head of Pastoral Care, working in close partnership with the Head of Senior School and other pastoral staff, focuses on building coping mechanisms and strategies to improve student welfare.
One of the primary goals of the Head of Pastoral Care is connecting with students through authentic and genuine relationships. The role requires a considered and measured response to incidents as they occur. Key staff are included in the building of plans to assist and guide students to make better decisions and understand how these decisions impact others around them.
Strategies to manage negative peer interactions
At TGS, we adopt different approaches to equip the boys with the skills to function socially with each other. Through the School’s explicit Wellbeing and Character Development program, we teach boys ways to address bullying as both a victim and a bystander. If a boy is comfortable addressing negative interactions directly with his peers, we initially suggest they refer to these strategies:
- Humour — a means to de-escalate the situation by learning the art of laughing at oneself will often lead to these challenging moments decreasing.
- Compliments — responding to a taunt with a compliment can be very disarming to the student who has made a negative or inappropriate comment.
- The “so” statement — asking a student “So what?” can be an easy way to shut down the student that is generating the negativity in a peer relationship. For example, when a boy says to another boy “You didn’t play very well on Saturday”, the student can respond with “So what?”. Often the implication of being asked a secondary question can catch the offender off guard and diffuse the situation.
Toowoomba Grammar School employs a very clear behaviour management policy across four tiers of comprehensive responses linking consequences to actions that may have impacted another student’s wellbeing.
If a student at Toowoomba Grammar School is experiencing difficulty and is challenged by attempting to manage this situation on their own, then the students are encouraged to complete an online bullying notification that is forwarded to Mentors, Heads of House and senior staff. These notifications are actioned by staff in a meeting with the student where they cooperatively develop an action plan to address the matter.
If you are worried about your son, bullying and his interactions with his peers, our SchoolTV channel offers great advice.
We also recommend the book Bullied: What every parent, teacher and kid needs to know about bullying and the cycle of fear, as it contains very practical advice.
Latest Blog
Gaining Ground with a Growth Mindset
I have seen the posters. I have sat the assemblies. I have watched the ads telling us about growth mindsets and how to develop one, and I'm sure you have too. But what we don't do is apply it to ourselves to help benefit our lives, however, there is no reason to blame yourself. The growth mindset is a deep topic that has many layers to it and is extremely important to have today. While we might blame other things on our weaknesses, it all links back to one thing – our mindset. To benefit our…
Sleeping Away the Mental Health Crisis
Two in five. That’s how many young Australians between the ages of 16 and 24 have experienced a mental disorder in the last 12 months (ABS, 2022). Let that sink in. Think of your closest five mates. Odds are that two of them are suffering right now from a crippling mental illness. According to recent studies conducted by the Australian Bureau of Statistics, Australia is witnessing an unprecedented rise in mental health issues among its youth, leaving them vulnerable and struggling (Headspace,…
Time for a Wake Up Call
Did you know that one in five 12–17-year-olds average over 8 hours of screen time a day? That means that in a 14-hour day, 57% of their waking hours involve looking at a screen! This madness is contributing to a very significant problem all teenagers face - sleep deprivation. It is killing us. We are becoming walking zombies rather than happy, growing lads. However, we can end this treacherous technological tyranny by putting down our screens before bed. Stop and think for a second. How much…
Breaking the Stigma
Strangling you in chains. Smothering you in despair. Anxiety and depression can be mighty beasts to break free from. Unfortunately, the state of traditional masculinity is reinforcing these chains. Mental health is a major threat to the well-being of men. This cage constructs barriers and borders which limit their ability to thrive in the modern world. Traditional Masculinity refers to a set of societal expectations foregrounded through the centuries by gender roles, stereotypes and beliefs.…
The Power of Gratitude
“What do you say mate?” your mum nudges you as the waitress hands you your dinosaur nuggets. “Thank you.” You have always been told to use good manners, and to say thank you, but what does thank you actually mean? Is it just two meaningless words uttered with monotonous regularity, or is it a tool that can alleviate mental health issues generating happiness and a sense of wellbeing? Gratitude is the sunlight that lights up those dark days. The ability to be grateful is at the core of personal…
The Silent Epidemic: Unveiling the Consequences of Sleep Deprivation
“Sleep that soothes away all our worries. Sleep that puts each day to rest. Sleep that relieves the weary laborer and heals hurt minds.” William Shakespeare (Macbeth, 1606) Heart Disease, Cancer, and Alzheimer's. Three life-threatening diseases. Three diseases all linked to lack of sleep. According to Dr. Okorie from the children’s health division of Stanford University, “7 out of 10 high school students are falling short of… (sleep) on school nights.” The Bulk of American teens are not getting…
Tik Tok - From Fun to Fear
Social media platforms have ingrained themselves into our daily lives in a time when technology is constantly evolving and drawing millions of users with seductive features and never-ending streams of captivating content. Among these, TikTok has become a worldwide phenomenon, captivating users with its viral challenges and short-form films. Underneath the fun and inventiveness however, there is growing concern about the risks connected to TikTok and other social media platforms. TikTok's…
Active Procrastination – Unlocking the Gates of Time
“Procrastination is like a credit card: it’s a lot of fun until you get the bill.” - Christopher Parker – professional actor. Unfortunately, procrastination is a term that we are all familiar with as students; the vast majority of us have experienced it firsthand. It saps our time and results like a parasite, a burden on its host. However, despite it’s reputation, recent studies have shown that when harnessed correctly, procrastination can be a powerful tool to improve both academic efficiency…
It Takes a Village...
The Toowoomba Grammar School Boarding community plays a pivotal role in shaping the young minds of our boarders and instilling values whilst creating a sense of mateship that can last a lifetime. The nurturing and supportive network of staff not only ensure a safe and structured environment but also cultivates a sense of belonging and camaraderie among the boys. ‘The staff supply the fuel to the ship but ultimately it is the boys who steer it and decide upon its final destination’. Our TGS…
