At Toowoomba Grammar School, our staff know adolescence is a complex time in the lives of our boys.
As we approach the end of Term 3, we find it is typically a time when boys start to get tired and emotional and are most likely to make poor decisions that can lead to relationship challenges between peers. Comments and humour shared between mates that may have been received without concern in the first week of the term may change as boys start to tire and their tolerance levels decrease. This may lead to boys reacting with heightened and overly emotional responses. This is normal as boys are also navigating their position in social groups within different settings.
Our experienced Toowoomba Grammar School staff, who consciously choose to work in a boys’ school, address these challenges with the boys by suggesting strategies that will assist the students to navigate their way through these challenging situations. Our dedicated Head of Pastoral Care, working in close partnership with the Head of Senior School and other pastoral staff, focuses on building coping mechanisms and strategies to improve student welfare.
One of the primary goals of the Head of Pastoral Care is connecting with students through authentic and genuine relationships. The role requires a considered and measured response to incidents as they occur. Key staff are included in the building of plans to assist and guide students to make better decisions and understand how these decisions impact others around them.
Strategies to manage negative peer interactions
At TGS, we adopt different approaches to equip the boys with the skills to function socially with each other. Through the School’s explicit Wellbeing and Character Development program, we teach boys ways to address bullying as both a victim and a bystander. If a boy is comfortable addressing negative interactions directly with his peers, we initially suggest they refer to these strategies:
- Humour — a means to de-escalate the situation by learning the art of laughing at oneself will often lead to these challenging moments decreasing.
- Compliments — responding to a taunt with a compliment can be very disarming to the student who has made a negative or inappropriate comment.
- The “so” statement — asking a student “So what?” can be an easy way to shut down the student that is generating the negativity in a peer relationship. For example, when a boy says to another boy “You didn’t play very well on Saturday”, the student can respond with “So what?”. Often the implication of being asked a secondary question can catch the offender off guard and diffuse the situation.
Toowoomba Grammar School employs a very clear behaviour management policy across four tiers of comprehensive responses linking consequences to actions that may have impacted another student’s wellbeing.
If a student at Toowoomba Grammar School is experiencing difficulty and is challenged by attempting to manage this situation on their own, then the students are encouraged to complete an online bullying notification that is forwarded to Mentors, Heads of House and senior staff. These notifications are actioned by staff in a meeting with the student where they cooperatively develop an action plan to address the matter.
If you are worried about your son, bullying and his interactions with his peers, our SchoolTV channel offers great advice.
We also recommend the book Bullied: What every parent, teacher and kid needs to know about bullying and the cycle of fear, as it contains very practical advice.
Latest Blog
It Takes a Village...
The Toowoomba Grammar School Boarding community plays a pivotal role in shaping the young minds of our boarders and instilling values whilst creating a sense of mateship that can last a lifetime. The nurturing and supportive network of staff not only ensure a safe and structured environment but also cultivates a sense of belonging and camaraderie among the boys. ‘The staff supply the fuel to the ship but ultimately it is the boys who steer it and decide upon its final destination’. Our TGS…
Unlocking Literacy - The Big Six Elements for Your Child’s Reading Success
Literacy skills are a core component of each day for our students, and parents often ask how they can support this from home. I am delighted to share with our parent community the essential components that underpin successful reading development. These elements, known as the Big Six, provide a solid foundation for your son’s literacy journey. These critical building blocks include: Oral Language: Communication skills are the bedrock of reading. Encourage rich conversations with your child.…
The Journey of a Boarding Mother
When you look up mother in the dictionary it reads: female parent of a child. When you look up boarder, it simply reads: a child who lives away from home. So, put “boarder mother” together and we have: the female parent of a child who lives away from home – if only it were that simple. My definition of boarding mother is: a strong, dedicated unbelievably great female parent of a child who has the wisdom to put her son’s educational needs, wellbeing and lifelong endeavours before her own. A…
The Importance of Differentiation
As parents, we all want our children to have the best possible education, and one of the most effective ways for teachers to provide this is through differentiation. Differentiation means tailoring instruction to meet the unique needs and interests of each student, and it can take many forms. First, let's define differentiation. Differentiation is a teaching approach that recognises that students have different strengths, interests, and learning styles. By adjusting instruction to meet these…
Addressing Anger in Teenage Boys
As a community dedicated to the growth and well-being of our teenage boys, it is essential to address the complexities of emotions we experience during adolescence. Among these emotions, anger stands out as a powerful and intense feeling that can influence their behaviour, relationships and overall wellbeing. Untreated anger can lead to a myriad of problems and challenges for our young boys. In this comprehensive guide, we will explore the dangers of untreated anger, ways to support healthy…
Study Skills Program
Just as teachers benefit from an understanding of the Learning Sciences in their lesson planning and preparation, so to do students when they are studying for major summative assessments. A survey of TGS students in Years 9 to 12 found that 70% of our boys felt that they knew how to study, with the biggest impediments to study being lack of motivation and too many distractions. The most highly preferred study technique was found to be rewriting notes. Cramming, rereading the text and rewriting…
Developing Teachers Worldwide
I recently had the pleasure of attending the 2023 International Boys’ Schools Coalition (IBSC) Annual Conference at Westlake Boys High School in Auckland, New Zealand, in my capacity as a Team Leader in the IBSC Action Research Program. Action research is a systematic inquiry conducted by teachers in their own classroom to better understand the impact that an aspect of their practice is having on their students. Each year, 40 teachers from IBSC member schools from around the world are accepted…
Developing a Sense of Belonging for our TGS Boarders
How do we adequately develop a teenager’s 'sense of belonging' in boarding? Head of Boyce House, Boarding, Mr Michael Hall has investigated how 'Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs' applies to boarding. It is a psychological theory that suggests human beings have a set of fundamental needs that must be fulfilled in a hierarchical order. The theory proposes that individuals must first satisfy their physiological needs before moving on to higher-level needs, such as the 'belongingness' that is so…
Kia Moemoeā – Dream Beyond Limits
A 12-year study has found that boys consistently perform better in an all boys’ school compared to boys in co-educational schools. This was one of several interesting topics presented at the recent International Boys’ Schools Coalition (IBSC) Conference in Auckland, New Zealand which I attended alongside three of my Toowoomba Grammar School colleagues – Mr Luke Rawle, Mr Dave Klan and Mrs Jessica Galbraith. We joined 600 leading educators from 15 countries around the world for the four-day…