My husband Ben and I are four years into our boarding journey at Toowoomba Grammar School, we have two boys in Mackintosh House, Josh in Year 10 and Archie in Year 9, and a daughter Ella who is home with us for one more year before we become empty nesters. We are in the fortunate position that we live reasonably close, so we have the privilege of taking our boys home often and can attend most School events. For many of our boarding families, this is not the case, they live great distances away and may only travel to Toowoomba once a term to visit, if at all. Consequently, many boarders never get to go home during the term. The weeks can be very long for these boys and their families. I was a boarder myself for five years and I was one of these kids; I grew up on a cattle station near Cloncurry and we lived eight hours away from my school. We never went home during the term, and it was rare that my family could come and visit, so I can relate to these boarding families.

This is when the connection with day boy families becomes so important. They may be able to take your son to their home on leave, drive them to sport or take them to an appointment. These acts of kindness help a boarder settle in and feel included, and for that boy’s parents, that small act of kindness provides tremendous relief and support because when you are so far away you are often consumed by guilt for not being there.

There are many benefits to attending a school that has boarders, it gives day boys the opportunity to form connections all over Australia and overseas. They may get an insight into life on the land, living on an island or in a remote community. I encourage our boarding and day families to get to know each other and pursue these connections as they offer excellent learning opportunities for our boys, and they can give each other understanding into the very different lives they live. Lifelong friendships are often formed, and your sons have access to a network that spreads far and wide.

Many boarders may not have ever experienced life in a populated area like Toowoomba until they became boarders. Many of these boys did not attend a traditional primary school, many were home schooled by their mothers and their only classmates were siblings, they had never worn a uniform and bare feet was totally acceptable. The transition into boarding in a city can often be daunting for these boys who are still so very young. Not only do they have to adjust to everything being bigger and different, but there are also rules they must follow, everything is timetabled - when they eat, when they shower, when they study, when they play. The freedom they are used to is very limited and they miss their home, their family, their friends and their animals. Homesickness is often worse when they are in younger years; however, it can strike at any time and often older boys who start boarding suffer the most as their peers have usually outgrown their homesickness. They struggle with the restrictions and miss their home cooked meals, yet most will learn to love boarding and will look back in later life on TGS as some of the fondest memories they have.

There are some boys here in boarding who don’t venture past the School gates often unless it is for sport or a School activity. Being taken out on leave, even if it is just for a few hours, may offer a much-needed reprieve and may help a boy reset and be able to make it through the rest of the term. Day families, please do not underestimate the value of all that you do for boarders. A change of scenery, a simple home cooked meal, or just having the opportunity to play with your pet or your son’s younger siblings. Most boys won’t admit it, but they do miss their own siblings at home, and they very much enjoy being in a family environment.

The benefits can work both ways, by cultivating these relationships our day boys and perhaps their families may potentially be invited to a boarding family’s home. This offers some unique holiday destinations and experiences. It gives our city-based families the chance to experience a life quite different from their own and gives them an insight into what life is like on the land, on an island or in a remote community. To see for themselves what challenges some of our boarding families are faced with in terms of lack of services, isolation and distance and to have a taste of how totally rewarding and beautiful their lifestyle can be and why they live there. Your son may choose to take a gap year and there are many boarding families who can offer them a unique work experience opportunity, giving you peace of mind that they will be well looked after. Likewise for those boarders who like what the city has to offer, they could be prospective employees of local day family businesses, and bring with them the independence, maturity and a good work ethic that TGS boarding instils in them.

All parents at TGS make sacrifices to provide for their sons so that they can receive a good education, but by far the biggest sacrifice is having to send your son away from their home so thank you to the Day Families for making a difference and making life easier for a boarder and their parents.

by Stephanie Smart, President Boarder Parents' Support Group


Latest Blog

People
/
Thursday, 23 June 2022

TGS Leading the Way for IT in Education

Toowoomba Grammar School is fortunate to have a strong partnership with Microsoft / School Locker. We are a Microsoft Lighthouse School, leading the way in technological advancement and deployment in Australian schools. This recognition would not be possible without two key factors: our “whole school” approach to IT, whereby the School supplies every student with the same devices, ensuring equality for all boys from Prep to Year 12.our dedicated IT team, who are based on-site to immediately…

Read More
Teaching & Learning
/
Friday, 17 June 2022

Holiday Reading

Reading is one of those activities that, the more you do, the better you get, and with the holidays fast approaching, now is the perfect time to read that book you’ve always wanted to, finish a book you’ve started or try something new. It is important to keep reading over the holidays, so that we don’t step backward in our reading journey. As the Organisation for Economic Cooperation and Development (OECD) has found, reading for pleasure is a habit that can prove essential to performing well…

Read More
Character & Wellbeing
/
Thursday, 02 June 2022

Developing Generational Change in our Men – Stand Up and Speak Out

The devastating effects of domestic and family violence (DFV) are more prominent today as this previously ‘taboo’ issue is finally being publicly recognised and addressed. Toowoomba Grammar School is proud to be leading the way in creating generational change for this sensitive issue through a variety of School initiatives and by supporting community groups associated with DFV. Our programs are aimed at developing good men of the future who will “Stand Up and Speak Out.” TGS became a White…

Read More
Grammar 150
/
Wednesday, 01 June 2022

The Barbour Connection

They will tell tales of meeting someone on the other side of the world whom they spotted wearing a TGS cap. It led to an instant connection. Of getting their dream job by simply proudly sporting a TGS Old Boy tie at the interview. It led to an instant connection. There is no denying that Toowoomba Grammar School students share a special bond. We celebrate it with our annual Old Boys’ Sons and Grandsons photo and our Old Boys’ Generations Gathering dinner. You see it in the playground at…

Read More
Boarding
/
Friday, 27 May 2022

“I’ll Be There for You” at Toowoomba Grammar School

“I’ll be there for you” was the theme of National Boarding Week. This statement is particularly relevant at Toowoomba Grammar School as the boarders, the dayboys and the staff, help each other in the good times and the bad. We see our school as a ‘boarding school’, not a ‘school with boarders’. We are proud to be one of the oldest and most highly regarded boys’ boarding schools in Australia, providing a home away from home for boys for almost 150 years. TGS came from very humble beginnings. The…

Read More
General
/
Thursday, 14 Apr 2022

Helping families navigate rules, rewards and consequences for boys

Recently I was in a webinar that aimed to tackle the issues surrounding technology and its effects on students. Some members of the forum started openly criticising boys for their poor behaviour. Whilst their criticisms were not directed specifically at our boys, I was offended at their general statements. We can be too quick to criticise boys and we forget that their frontal lobes are still developing. We also forget that their brains are “wired” differently from girls and that they don’t see…

Read More
Teaching Excellence
/
Monday, 28 Mar 2022

Accepting Our Past, Creating Our Future

Toowoomba Grammar School has added the new role of Indigenous Education Coordinator to the School’s offering, to further promote a culture of diversity, inclusivity, and reconciliation. Mr Scott Gale has been appointed to this ground-breaking position that aims to spread awareness and understanding of the significance of Australia’s culture and history. “That’s something that has been lacking in Australia’s education system for so long,” said Scott. “It’s an extremely significant part of our…

Read More
People
/
Thursday, 17 Mar 2022

The Gift of Music

You can feel the pride and passion exude from Janelle Fletcher as she reflects on her thirty-year career as a Music Tutor at Toowoomba Grammar School. “It’s a long time to stay in any job,” she admitted. “But working with the boys, seeing how important it is to have music in their lives and to develop not only as musicians but as people, that’s what’s kept me here.” Janelle believes staff in an all-boys’ school have a real understanding of boys. “It’s been very positive for me to see the…

Read More