Every parent will have a unique journey with their son whilst he is boarding at Toowoomba Grammar School. I’m Kym Wright, mother of Clancy, who is in Year 12 and this is my journey….

From my very first experience with Toowoomba Grammar School Boarding ten years ago, I had a good feeling straight away that TGS would be the perfect fit for my son. I was picking up my nephew for lunch. He had started boarding at TGS just six weeks prior. It was pouring rain and there were boys enthusiastically playing cricket in the boarding house! A few things stood out for me on that day:

1. They let boys be boys! – what boy hasn’t tried to play cricket in the hallway of their own house?
2. All the lads were polite, courteous, had good social skills, stopped to ask if I needed assistance and were just outstanding, fine young men.
3. The Head of House greeted me with you must be “Aunty Kym” and was up for a chat and genuinely interested in me. He also talked about my nephew, what made him tick and about his character – he had taken notice and got to know the boy. I was amazed that he had worked out so much about him in just a few short weeks.
4. My nephew wanted to go straight back after lunch. He wanted to be with the boys, even though he was homesick, he was obviously starting to feel at home and didn’t want to miss out – it was now his home.

I immediately felt comfortable, the House had a warm, friendly atmosphere and I felt at home. I knew then that this would be a good place for my son when he had to commence boarding.

The only thing missing that day – was a mother yelling at her son to take that ball outside!

Clancy was quite young when he did his tour of TGS, Year 2 in fact. I knew how I felt, but it wasn’t me who had to live there, so I wanted to see what Clancy thought, even though he was only little. You could not wipe the smile off his face. He loved everything about TGS. His little eyes amazed by everything he saw. I was too. Not only by the facilities and grounds but more importantly every boy we passed said hello, gave us a nod or tipped their hat – this just came naturally to them. They were impressive young men and that’s what I wanted for my son. A high level of respect was shown. A quality that almost made my heart melt as that’s what I needed to see as a mother – that the school I was choosing for my son produces outstanding, respectful, fine young men.

There was everything he was interested in – a variety of sports, music and drama and heaps of activities on weekends to keep boarders entertained. With Clancy so impressed and happy, he gave TGS the nod. I felt relieved. I was confident I had a picked a fantastic boarding school and now the long wait to actually get here started.

But it didn’t take that long at all, and suddenly reality set it - my little boy is going off to boarding school next year, how do I prepare him?

Clancy attended the Grammar Boy for a Day experience, and we did the orientation sleepover the year prior to starting. Both were excellent. It really gives the boys a feel for TGS. They meet many new friends, and I was happy to see a few familiar faces from Clancy’s Southwest sports days and boys from our local area.

We also talked a lot about TGS and what to expect. That it was okay to feel both excited and sad about leaving home and any questions that he asked, and I couldn’t answer, I just looked on the TGS website or phoned the School to ask.

Those Christmas holidays were filled with mixed emotions – excitement, anticipation and nervousness and all the while my heart was tinged with sadness that my little man was going off to boarding school.

The quietness is overwhelming as you help them pack their bags, label their clothing (insert eye roll, no one enjoys that), making sure they have everything. Reality sets in as their cupboard becomes a little barer and some of their favourite treasures are now zipped up in a suitcase ready for the trip.

Driving away from what they have known for the last 12 years, the familiar surroundings, the comfort of their home and their own bed is always a sad day. Leaving their pets behind is the one that tugs at the heartstrings, tears well in their little eyes as they pat them goodbye.

The trip to Toowoomba is both exciting and sombre. A quiet child in the back seat, staring blankly out the window. A mother in the front, wondering what is going through her child’s mind, wondering what we have forgotten, sick in the stomach at the thought of only a few more hours with her son.

Living remotely, most of us know even before we have children that our only option will be to send them off to boarding school. We have 11 or 12 years to prepare for this moment and we try to prepare our sons their whole life. As a mum we know we are making the right decision; they go to boarding school to get the best education and to have access to opportunities that they wouldn’t get remotely, but deep down we are crazy with fear and worry. But are we really ever prepared for that first day drop off? The simple answer is no!

One day we are in complete control of our sons and the next minute someone else is saying, “we’ve got this, it’s ok, you just drive home, they will be fine.” Hang on, that was quick, I’m not ready to let go, just yet! You are holding it together, just. But it really is time to go, the boys head off down the hallway. You turn to walk out, still trying to hold back tears but it’s a fight you are losing and the tears flow. You scramble to the car as surely no one else is crying as much as you, wrong again – every single mother walking back to her car has tears flowing, the dads aren’t much better. It’s good to know we are all in the same boat. It’s definitely a sunglasses and tissues day.

The drive home is horrible. The first night of sleep is pointless, there is none! The house is empty; you can hear the clock tick for the first time since having children. You wait by the phone at 3:15pm for that first call, hoping that your son isn’t sad. A mother with 100 questions, followed by all the instructions we would normally give them in 24 hours, all crammed into 30 minutes. Pretty soon, those phone calls start getting shorter with “I have to go Mum, the boys and I are doing this, this and this…” Part of you is happy they are happy, the other part is sad that you feel redundant.

Don’t despair, drop off day does get better as you see your son flourish and he can’t wait to get back to his mates, but it’s never really a delight. I do love to reconnect with the other boys and their parents and hear about their adventures in the holidays, it is always wonderful to see everyone, but it’s never easy to drive away and leave a child behind.

Being a boarding mother can be a tough gig, one of the toughest things you will ever have to do as a mother. To hand the reins of our most precious possession over to complete strangers. I wish I knew automatically that my son would be fine in boarding – it would have saved lots of heartache. Everyone tells you they will adapt, but until you are there and experience it, you never know; you hope they will be, but you still worry. It’s taken me all this time to learn – don’t sweat the small stuff! There is ALWAYS someone to help them with anything! And the big stuff that you worry about, such as coping with school work or homesickness, well there is always someone to help with that too!

Boys often unload their problems to us on the phone and then are fine five minutes later. An experienced boarding parent told me if they mention something to you that’s bothering them, make a mental note and if they are still mentioning it in a week’s time, that’s the time to do something about it.

Clancy quickly found his feet at TGS. He tried all the exciting things on offer and then worked out what he did and didn’t like. He has to make his own decisions, of course I, together with boarding staff guide him but I was not there to hold his hand anymore. This is a lifelong skill, the first of many he would learn in boarding. TGS Boarding teaches boys resilience, they have to be independent; they have to be responsible for their own self and their own possessions. If Clancy wasn’t a boarder, I don’t think he would be the man he is today, he would not be so independent, he wouldn’t have the organisational skills and time management skills that he has today. He wouldn’t have the social skills and know how to speak up and ask questions, and he wouldn’t be the tolerant person he is – being in boarding it teaches you to get along with all types of people. You may choose the friends you want to be close to, but you still have to live with, and get along with, the rest. Clancy now has friends from all over the world due to TGS Boarding.

I think back to my first experience at TGS, that day of cricket in the hallway and I think about the outstanding young lads I met. I wanted that for my son, and I am getting it. TGS Boarding is helping me shape Clancy into a fine young man, one of good character and one who is prepared for life after school.

It has been nothing short of a wonderful journey for both Clancy and me. A journey that started with many tears and many firsts, and I know over the next 12 months it will be filled with many lasts and my tears again.

An investment in a quality education is worth its weight in gold. An investment in TGS Boarding is worth its weight in Blue and Gold! You won’t regret it.