Can you remember your first day in secondary school? It can be a time of mixed feelings - very exciting, but also quite daunting and challenging. Irrespective of whether your son is joining us from the TGS Junior School, or if they are just starting at Toowoomba Grammar School, it can appear to be the start of a long journey. It is a rite of passage in many respects but with this comes increased emotions in response to transition. The boys have a lot to digest with a new, possibly larger campus to navigate, different teachers and lessons, making new friends, where to go and what to do at lunch and morning tea, and suddenly being among the youngest in the school yard again. There can be a sense of not knowing how all things work and as such, some boys (and parents) can feel unsure about how to respond. There will be a wide range of conflicting feelings during the next few months as we take the journey from Year 6 into Year 7, and this is completely normal.

We hope this guide will provide you with some ideas about transitioning to the TGS Senior School so that you feel prepared to support your son during this process.

Our top tips

• Try not to dismiss any apprehension that your son shares about how they’re feeling. Listening and having conversations about these feelings is healthy and can help him to work through any concerns. Try to avoid trivialising his feelings; look to keep conversations positive as much as possible.
• They may be worried about the bus journey to or from school, not knowing anyone at break, using a locker or not knowing where the classrooms are. Be sure to emphasise the fact that everyone will be feeling the same.
• In many cases, they’ll be starting alongside friends from primary school but for some they will know very few, if any. The key message is that they will not be ‘alone’. Whatever concerns or worries your son may have, they’re all valid, so try not to dismiss them.
• You may be feeling unsettled inside, but it is important that you talk about it as being a positive experience. Be aware that your son will react to what he senses, feels, sees and hears from you.
• When preparing your son for secondary school, it can help to share any positive experiences that you had. If you did not have a positive experience at school, try not to let that influence your child.
• If your son will eventually travel to school on his own, it might be best to do a few practice runs with him to ensure that he feels more confident.
• Remind your son that everyone is in the same boat when they first start school. Talk to them about ways to initiate conversations with other boys. Encourage them to be themselves always and try not to ‘act out’ to get attention; this is rarely a good way to make quality friendships.
• Encourage them to get involved in extra-curricular activities such as sport, chess, music or drama as soon as possible, as this will help them to make friends.
• Remember that friendships do take time to develop and don’t be too alarmed if they haven’t made a friend immediately. Friendships take time and effort, and the reality is that some don’t work out. Your son largely needs to find his own way and whilst it is tempting to try and ‘fix’ issues that arise or provide ‘advice’ about what you would do, try to avoid jumping in immediately. The most important thing is that you encourage your son to be himself and act with kindness and respect.

Your son is likely to hear much of the same advice from mentors, teachers, and older boys in his first term of Year 7. Building healthy relationships and getting to know other people forms a significant part of our Year 7 Pastoral Care program.

The first day

• Make sure your son has all the right equipment to begin Day 1- organisation is very important from the start.
• If you know anyone starting at the School on the same day, it might be helpful to organise to meet with them at an arranged meeting place so that they can walk in together.
• Don’t be alarmed if your son does not want you to accompany him into School.
• Discuss with your son what to do if they miss the bus, lose their bus card, etc.
• Chatting to a friend or older sibling about what to expect can be helpful also, as long as the message is reassuring!
• Ensuring that you have all the required school uniform is an obvious one, as well as things like stationary and various books, and that everything is named.

The first few weeks

• It is important to give your son some leeway as they’re going to need to ‘transition’ and get used to their new routines. They are going to need to learn a new timetable, recognise the increased responsibility and absorb all that their subjects entail.
• Your son will be very tired at the end of the day so think about the impact that other activities will have on him during the week or on the weekend, particularly his ability to cope with the new regime and changed circumstances.
• It is always helpful to engage with your son about each teacher that they have, where their locker is located and what their daily routine looks like. Encouraging them to ‘open-up’ about the basics will go a long way to helping them get organised.
• Work with your son to help him create new routines to ensure he is organised and packed for each day. It is a good habit for your son to pack his bags the night before. Help him to be organised, but please do not do it for him. He must learn to take responsibility for his own preparation.
• Establishing healthy patterns and routines after school will be important, particularly in relation to downtime, exercise, eating, homework and sleeping. With boys, it is always important to encourage and nurture self-discipline and an ability to work to a deadline; expectations that will always be placed upon them through school and in the workforce in the future.
• In Year 7, your primary point of contact is the Head of Year 7. Encourage your son to speak with the Head of Year 7 if he has any concerns or if he has any questions.
• From Year 8 onwards, your son’s primary point of contact will be his Head of House. This is the teacher who will monitor his general pastoral and academic needs on a regular basis.

Homework

• The Senior School Diary outlines expectations for homework for each year level. From the start, encourage your son to use the diary to keep organised and on top of tasks that need to be completed.
• Encourage them to create ‘To-Do’ lists with homework so that they prioritise what needs to be done. Help them to distinguish between tasks that are best staggered over time (revision, research, etc) as well as independent tasks that can be completed and ‘ticked off’.
• Make sure that they have a suitable space to work in at home. It is recommended that he is somewhere centrally located where he can access assistance and be monitored to stay on task. Check in with your son regularly to ensure he is doing his homework.
• The removal of devices and headphones is also recommended to avoid distraction.
• In the first few weeks and months, it can take your son longer to complete homework than might be expected. Do not panic if this is a ‘one-off’. If your son is regularly taking a very long time to complete work or stuck with specific subjects, encourage him to contact the Head of Year 7, his Mentor or teacher.
• It is important for your son to understand that the computer he uses for school is one of the many tools that he will use for his learning. It is not intended to be a hub for entertainment.
• Email is one of the major forms of communication on a day-to-day basis. Checking your son’s email with him can help him to filter and prioritise the content.

We encourage you to read our other blog articles about transitioning to Year 7 and building self-confidence and resilience in your son. We hope this is the beginning of a wonderful journey at TGS.